Meanwhile, outside the fort the washing machine had completed its rinse cycle. Whereupon the machine began to rock from side to side as deep primeval groans sounded from within the device. Suddenly the door burst wide open, and the body of some strange creature erupted out of it backwards. It was covered in great black scales and had a long whipping tail that lashed from side to side, a pair of gigantic bat wings thrashed about to knock against the palm tree. The two long and spindly legs ended in savage sharp nails which raked the ground with uncontrollable vehemence, as its horrific arms with their even more horrific claws slashed at the washing machine which sat twisted and writhed upon the end of its long sinuous neck, having remained caught upon the head of the terrible Jabberwocky.
Also, for reasons, which were best known to itself, it wore a natty little green vest with the words 'Teddy Loves Bunny' sewn into the lapel.
Suddenly the beast, after reaching its neck back as far as it could, jerked its head forward, throwing the washing machine up over the parapets of the fortress, to reveal the nightmarish head of the beast of darkness. Its eyes were milky white with flame and hideous like ping-pong balls dipped in molasses which swivelled grotesquely in their orbits above the huge parrot beak incisors of the teeth from which green slime dripped in two putrescent streams on either side of its gaping mouth. The creature lifted up its head upon the long sinuous neck to stare uffishly at the fortress, snickering and snickering its beak-like teeth as it did so.
The sentries after first catching sight of the washing machine sailing over the wall, and then this extraordinary creature detonate itself into existence immediately began immigrating to Iceland, leaving the fort to defend itself.
Inside, the washing machine screamed in like a dive bomber bounced across a roof onto the kings open air court before flattening the guard who was just about to turn Erwin into diced salami. Whereupon the machine promptly turned back into a post war radio with a sense of humour as Bing Crosby started up again.
With blinding speed Erwin rolled onto his feet, grabbing the dropped sword as he did so and with a short step crumped his fist, weighted with the sword, into the back of the head of the soldier about to skewer Werner. Erwin kept moving around the falling figure to bounce off the balls of his feet and throw his shoulder into the chest of the third guard and as they tumbled to the ground gave him a sharp chop to throat that floored him.
Erwin made straight for the king who was just on the edge of throwing a spear at Erwin's head. Erwin half crouched as he ran up the steps, jumping over the reclining Margret, jolting from foot to foot as he moved, twisting to one side as the spear blade whizzed through the air, scoring a thin red line along his back to smack into the washing machine, effectively turning it off. Erwin grunted in acknowledgement to the pain but kept moving to finally slam himself head first into the stomach of the king, knocking him back into the throne. Whereupon, the two of them toppled back over the chair, to lie in a sprawled mess behind the throne. Then grabbing the king by the ponytail at the back of his head, Erwin pulled back him onto the dais and poised the blade at the king’s throat, while the rest of the court ran screaming from the room, as a terrifying shriek pierced the air, heralding the arrival of the Jabberwocky.
The great leathery wings of the beast snapped and flapped as the Jabberwocky bounced ungainly to a halt upon the parapet. It paused for a moment, then lashed out with a claw to catch a soldier around the waist and dragging him screaming towards it, its green spittle splattered the man as the beast gave out an insane primeval shriek and buried its teeth in the man's chest.
Erwin dropped the king, raced down the steps to lift up Margret by an arm and a moment later pushed Werner towards the low wall of the court's terrace. Pulling the cube out of his pocket as he did so and bowling it over the edge.
The Jabberwocky dropped the soldier to the ground, its green putrescent slime mixing the violent red of the man's blood. It swung its head around for a second till seeing the retreating figures, raced forward on its two legs towards the three, using its wings for propulsion and its horrific clawed arms for crutches.
The three stood at the wall for a moment, then toppled over as Erwin grabbed them around the waists and pulled them over.
"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" they screamed, as the head of the Jabberwocky snaked over the parapet screeching behind them, sliding through the air behind them.
They fell into the time crystal lying on the ground into the nothingness beyond, but the head of the Jabberwocky still came after them, the long neck whipping in past the crystal arms, through the open door. The beast's foul breath polluting the air as it opened its jaws, screeching as it did so and just as it was about to crunch its way into Erwin's torso, the door snickered shut, neatly incising off the head of the Jabberwocky.
Excerpt From Macschrodinger's Cat - all rights reservered
